


Fighting Myself

by Echo_Greenshield



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Bonding, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Out of Character, Self-Harm, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-19
Updated: 2012-02-19
Packaged: 2018-09-27 16:39:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10032674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Echo_Greenshield/pseuds/Echo_Greenshield
Summary: Harry is refusing  to acknowledge what happened between him and Malfoy. He's fighting every urge to bow to the force that they forged. But how long can one last when they are fighting  themselves?Sequel to 'Why you?'





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from SeparatriX, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [HP Fandom](http://fanlore.org/wiki/HP_Fandom_\(archive\)), which was closed for health and financial reasons. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [HP Fandom collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/hpfandom/profile).
> 
> The works in this collection were my first ever attempt at writing FanFiction, and I am quiet proud of them in all their choppiness :3 So take this as a little warning about any smut or fluff in these stories, I like to think that I've improved since. Enjoy them, the ones that are unfinished I plan on finishing them eventually once I get the chance. All these stories are from HPfandom.net.

A/N- I enjoyed writing this sequel, it took longer than I thought it would. I honestly don't know how many times I rewrote paragraphs or just took certin things out, anyway I hope you enjoy it and if you haven't read 'Why you?' you should read it first to get a feel of the story

* * *

He had a awful sleep last night, if you could call it sleep. Tossing and turning, too hot, too cold and every time he  would close his eyes he would hear Hermione's voice saying "You've Bonded with him Harry" than His face would appear. 

"No offense Harry but you look terrible." said Neville. 

Stumbling down the stairs to the common room Harry just grunted in response. The walk to the Great Hall seemed to take forever, as he got closer his heart sped up, something inside told him that He was there waiting for him. Harry stopped dead in his tracks bumping into a sixth year who gave him a dirty look. 

"Come on Harry " Hermione said gently, "Lets go."

He was unwilling  pulled along and through the doors. Using all his self control he walked down the aisle to his table, he almost got to his seat when his eyes betrayed him and found...Him with his back turned and arm around Pansy. Harry felt a hot surge of anger course through him and without meaning he let out a moan and a surge of electricity. 

"Ouch you shock me," said Ron rubbing his hand that was on his shoulder. 

Across the hall The Blonde shouted and jumped away from his table. 

"What was that for?" he asked not bothering to keep his voice down.   
"Sorry but you gave me a  shock."  
"So that gives you a right to spill juice all over me?"    

Shaking his head he headed to the doors. Harry fought the feeling to jump up and see if he could help. 

"Look at the...ferret," he said in a loud voice, "He's...afraid of a...little bit of...juice on his robes."

The Blonde gave him his best sneer and walked out. Around Harry everyone laughed but he could not bring himself to, all he felt was...nothing  but regret. He shouldn't have said that, he should have got up and walked with him, making sure his robes were dry. 

Ron dished him out eggs and bacon, it looked and smelt awful,  "Thanks but I'm not hungry." he said lowly. 

He pushed it away and stared at the table playing with his napkin. All around him people talked and laugh, he could not bring himself to look up knowing the one person he didn't want to see but had the yearning to wasn't there. 

"See you in class." muttered Harry as he got up.   
He walked around aimlessly dodging people, the bell sounded but he made no move to head to Charms. Instead his feet carried him to the astronomy hall where he left his cloak. As he bent to pick it up he notice the book the blonde had last night...was  it really only last night? It seems ages ago. The spine crack as he opened it on the front page it said' Property of D.M.'

"Drop it...Scar...face."

Spinning around Harry came face to face with Draco.   
Taking a deep breath before he spoke knowing that the next words were going to hurt. 

"This rubbish? It's it a family heir loom? Or the proof that your actually from a Muggle family?" he said to the floor. Tears of pain prickled at his eyes for his throat was on fire and his air ways were constricting, it was a battle to say those things. He could feel himself start sweating because he was fighting himself to go against the magic.    
A roar of rage than he felt himself being pushed into the wall his head smacked back but he still didn't look into Dracos eyes. 

"Say that again looking at me...Scar...face or...you don't have the balls to?"

Steeling himself he looked up, right into his grey eyes. When their eyes met Harry wanted to push against him, run his fingers through his long hair and kiss him deeply like there was no tomorrow. His heart purred at the thought, his breath hitched and suddenly his pants was too tight. He leaned forward but at the last possible moment he threw out his arms and shoved him away. Draco tried to catch his balance but ended up smacking Harry in the mouth. Shock he stepped back as a metallic taste invaded his mouth. 

With a grunt Draco grab Harrys robes and tossed him to the ground, before he landed both boys had their wands out. Two spells blasted and hit each other sending a strong wind down the hall. The wind picked up Harry and tossed him against the wall knocking him out. 

He came to with cool fingers feeling his head and whispered healing spells. 

"I'm sorry ," whispered the voice, "Please wake up."

He groaned in answer and opened his eyes, everything seem really hazy and fuzzy. 

"Hey what's going on here?" down the hall came a tall figure, "Mr. Potter, what happened? I've got to get you to the hospital wing."

He felt himself being lifted and propelled down the hall before he blacked out again. 

                                                  *

Two months later Harry was feeling really worn down and weak, sleep seemed like a far dream at night. He often just laid there just waiting for everyone to get up.  Even his magic was suffering, casting even the simplest spells proved too much, it was just blamed on his growing magic  called Magic Loss.  When young witch and wizards are growing up so does their magic, occasionally they can have difficulties with their magic acting up or not working. But Harry didn't want to believe this explanation but he forced himself to because what else was there?

He slowly  trudged to the library  to meet with Hermione who has been there researching Bonds. 

"Find anything?"

Looking up she shook her head, "Not really...wait listen to this 'People with the Strong Bond have to be with each other or they...'."

He waited for her to finish but his impatience got the better of him, "Or they what Hermione? I'm honestly in no mood to guess."

She kept reading and not answering for a few minutes , "Well basically...hold on they word it better than me: 'People with the Strong Bond have to be with each other whether its romancing or just being near enough to touch, or they can and will lose their magic ability also their mind and rational thinking.'  and wait where's...oh right here: 'There is no way to end or brake a Strong Bond unless by death of one or both people involved, even than the Bond will still exist with death, causing the one who is still alive to morn their death until death claims them...' It all fits Harry your magic loss is cause by the Bond because you have had no contact with Malfoy."

"Whose complaining? That...t-twit is n-n-n...oh whatever." he half heartily shrugged and looked out the window. 

"Listen to yourself Harry, you can hardly even talk." reasoned Hermione. 

What did it matter? Draco acted like he didn't exist which hurt more than being yelled at. Everytime he seen him his heart would speed up than plumbet when he just over looked him and kept walking. If it wasn't for Hermione and Ron being so stubborn he would be completely alone since he pushed everyone else away. 

He didn't care that the one person who...damnt...meant the most to him acted like he didn't exist so why should he? Once they met eyes and the pain he felt when he looked away uninterested broke him. He was just a shell of a person who couldn't even make a feather levitate. 

"Harry!" 

He jumped off his seat,"What Ron? Wait when did you get here?" 

Rolling his eyes, "When you were staring out of the window looking lost. Admitted it, you-"

"No I don't he can go..." the pain was unbearable, he collapsed onto the floor heaving and panting. 

"Harry!"

Both of them helped him off the floor. On his feet he pushed pass them and out of the library stumbling. He just walked without knowing where he was going. The bell rang for class but he made no move to turn around and go. Sometime later he heard other foot steps echoing down the hall. 

"What do you think you're doing? You should be in class."  
Harry peeked over his shoulder, it was a prefect, shit.  He mustered all his strength and broke into a run. It didn't take him long to start panting but he refused to get put in detention. The prefect was gaining ground, so on the next turn he blew through the nearest door and hid in a cubical. A few seconds later the prefect burst though. 

"What are you doing? This is a girls toilet !" yelled Myrtle.  
"Well I'm looking for a boy who-"  
"Get out! Get out!" she wailed. 

Shrieking she flew into the toilet and spewed water everywhere. Right after the door closed and it was silent. Slowly Harry opened the door and peeked out, no Myrtle or prefect. Walking by the mirror he stopped because of what he saw in it. Looking back at him was a boy with flat dull lifeless hair, dark circles under his eyes, thin fragile looking body but what disturb him the most was his eyes. They were black, almost no color with no shine or life. 

"You look dead Harry...if you are, you're still welcomed to share my toilet."

Looking to his left, "Erm thanks Myrtle but I'm still alive...somewhat..."

Smiling she flew to the sink and sat down, "It's been a while since I've seen you, I take it you don't bathe in the prefects bathroom anymore?"

Clearing his throat, "Got to go to class now um see you."   
As he neared the door the bell sounded, so he waited until it was quiet before he left. He just walked, slowly and sluggishly not knowing or caring where his legs took him. Suddenly he lost his balance and fell against a suit of armor than slid to the ground. By his feet he felt something silky but he saw nothing. It downed on him that he was by the astronomy tower and it was his cloak; not wanting to be seen he slipped the cloak on and leaned against the wall. 

How much time passed he could not say, he must have slept for he closed his eyes and the light was fading from the walls and the torches were lighting themselves when he opened them again. Sighing he was debating on getting up or just staying here when he heard someone coming down the hall. 

"Mr. Malfoy." barked out a voice, "What do you think you are doing? It's almost curfew."

"Oh Professor McGonagall," he could hear the sneer in his voice, "I'm doing nothing out of the ordinary, just looking for a text book I've drop."

"Well perhaps you should take care of your things better Mr. Malfoy, I could help you look."

"No thanks it's well in hand...Professor."

He heard a ruffling of cloaks, "I'll be by in half a hour if I find you are still here you will receive detention."

"Don't worry, I'll be in my common room far from where you can reach me...Professor."

"Five points from Slytherin for speaking like that to a teacher."

With that she stalked off and disappeared down the hallway. Draco stared walking but he drooped and leaned against the suit of armor where Harry was hiding, when he looked up he was not the proud vain man he was before. His hair that was usually slicked back hung over his face like he was trying to hide from everybody, his robes hung on his frame several sizes too big and his eyes so lost and dim like someone turned the out the light.   
Draco got up and started walking his eyes roaming the hallway until they stopped on the book sitting beside Harry but instead of taking it he just kept walking until he was out of sight. 

Looking both ways he got up and started his long trek up the astronomy tower, he finally reached the top huffing and puffing. The cool wind raised gooses bumps on his exposed skin. Sighing he took off his cloak and left it at the top of the stairs and walked towards the edged. Looking over it hardly fazed him how high he was, even as he climbed onto the ledge. It wouldn't be that much to just jump or lean too forward. Like it would matter much to anyone, if he came back from the tower. Hell no one noticed he was missing they would have been looking for him by now. Sighing he looked over he edged again; his heart started beating fast but he knew it wasn't from the height.

"Don't do it," said a low voice. 

"Why do you care." he muttered to himself. 

He heard...no...he felt him move closer until he was right behind him. 

"Please don't do it, please...I'm so so sorry...Harry."

Hearing his name he look at the boy. His grey eyes were full of pleading and want. Reaching out Draco touched his arm, the moment they touched Harry felt a warmth flow into him, it energized and made him feel wanted. But this...it has come much too late. 

"You waited too long," he said his voice void of any emotion, "...I've waited too long..."

"Harry.." his voice was soft and husky, his hand grabbed a firmer grip on his arm trying to pull him down, "Don't be stupid, come down."

"Stupid is, as stupid does..." he muttered whiling looking away to the distance, "Look at the stars...Draco...no one would notice if one went out."

Roughly pulling him down Draco spun him around to face him, "I would...oh fuck I would...the only star in my universe going out..." he said softly while looking at his mouth, "I have so much to apologize for...it's my fault your going though this...shit please forgive me...Harry for I'll never forgive myself if I lose you again." 

He took his hand and cupped Harrys cheek forcing him to look up, "I'll understand if you don't want to ever seen me again but please...don't do this...don't-anything but this Harry..."  

 "I know." Harry said while turning  his head, "This doesn't change anything..."

Draco looked at him tears filled his eyes as he waited for the good-bye. 

Smiling slightly Harry move closer and  pulled him into a deep kiss that warmed them both up...more than a Pepper Up potion would have. 

* * *

A/N-I hope you enjoyed reading this. :D I figured would put the warning as Self Harm and not Character Death seeing that Harry just has suicidal thoughts and really doesnt do anything plus I didn't want to freak anyone out that I was planning on killing anyone off because I didn't :) So how was this for a sequel? Did it tie up loose ends?


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